sidenote: if personification is giving inanimate objects human like qualities, what is the word for giving planets human like qualities, because the personified planets were certainly in alignment for fun this weekend. gary, james, dan, hamm, robbie, camerin, me, sean, and our self transforming mechanical elves were all flying way faster than our angels could fly and it ruled.
we left around 1030am and arrived at 300, rest in peace tong shirts snugly hugging our bodies like divine body armor protecting us and sending us off on our way to a valhalla of perpetual party. it was a gift from tong, he was letting us know the doctor was still in session servin up celestial salvia from his furry pink nailed paws at a cal skate lock in that all the coolest dead people are invited to. woah what.. all that matters in that imagery is tong wearing roller skates.
yea so going to pyt's and following phil around trying to pick up chicks... wait thats too vague, me and gary were trying to pick up chicks and somehow we thought following phil around would be a good way to do it, so just picture phil doing all the talking while me and gary are just dancing so stupidly on each side of him. hilarious. we did talk to a swedish woman who could have cared less what i was saying and a PAINFULLY shy spanish chick. that really hurt. that night ended with apparently me kissing cam or cam kissing me, is this true cam? if so im hard right now. oh and it actually ended by getting naked at garys house and smoking a vaporizer with james. good times.
next morning we went to a sick mall and got massages, watched coins roll into a black hole, and felt up some statue boobs. me and gary went skating, ate at sizzler, then we went to a party where they transported a sultans harem onto the moon. that was special. i got drunk and tried to eat lightbulbs. these english chicks met my friend geeb and robbie brought his los angeles lover, then he disappeared, hes a little sweetie.
this next day is my prized possession of days and i dont know if that is a good thing or not but whatever it was fun as hell. woke up drank nyquil with hamm and james, that pretty much confused the fuck out of me, went to a tasty little eatery named good, thought about tom of finland
A LOT, and then strapped on the hulk gloves and skated around until i met a deliciously funny gay? man named the five dollar man. he was walking around acting like a secret agent with no shirt on and a pink bandana and a shparkley pink leprechaun hat on. he beckoned me to him and asked me if i was the hulk i said yea and that i was looking for something to put in the hole, he said he had something to put in the hole and i asked what and he said his dick, laughed and then offered me a beer. he started to run down the street and we went into a laundromat and drank beer with him, he explained he was the 5 dollar man because everything was 5 dollars, i asked him what he had on him right now to sell and he said his mouth his cock and his ass. that was awesome. then he showed us a chiuhuahua he had been hiding underneath a blanket that was directly next to him not moving at all. the chiuahahaua was not for sale it turns out. i probably would have bought it though. me and hamm got kicked out of the laundromat for drinking in there and then we went back to cams and jammed hard. wandz (cam and hamms band) had their first practice and it sounded amazing. we then went and met up with dan at some party in the hollywood hills. there was dip there, it was good. thats all i can say for that. but when me and james left to get more beer we ended up picking up a nice black woman who paid for my gas to take her to a club, it turns out she was a hooker and she was talking to a client on the phone the entire ride to the club, that ended by james giving her 5 dollars and her telling me i had soft hands and soft lips that would feel good on her nipples she gave james her number so we could call her and have a gang bang later. no joke. alas james did not save the number in his phone. the night was not over my friends the night had just begun! we went to dans and ate delicious bean dip a la daniel drank a bottle of jager watched some skateboarding and listened to cam's friend tom tell us over blackberry about dmt. it looks like i am going to do dmt on this night. i dont remember leaving dans house, my next memory is looking at a card with a yellow powder on it which i think was dmt, tom wouldnt allow me to do it because i am currently on an ssri which would counter act the most powerful halucinogen ever. weird. oh but he did allow me to snort ecstasy and drink mushroom tea...... we proceeded to watch total recall on vhs with the sound off sync'd up to spiritualized for hours. j spaceman likes drugs.i think thats all i have to say about that, but only because i have no recollection of what happened other than feeling reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally weird, confused.... in a good way though.
fuck man... i didnt really realize it at the time but probably on saturday morning i was out of energy but i straight powered through til monday around 830 and then commenced the drive home to oakland with robbie, that was insane for my body. but once we got the movie in our mind goin, autopilot kicked in. this is the movie for our mind we bought at the truckstop on cd
if you would like to buy it from me ill give you a good deal.
at about 40 miles from oakland im already out of gas but we powered through and made it home. went straight to bed and woke up with my laptop on my face still powered on around 2pm. i realized 4 days just kicked my ass harder than rambo and that i was running on an empty tank literally and metaphorically because after my class my car runs out of gas in the middle of the parking lot. another adventure begins, and i am NOT ready for it. nothing a little Phở cant cure:
ill end this with the most fun 7 seconds i will ever have in my entire life:
nah, barely sleeping at gary's was the most fun frreals.
turn my headphones up.
bro! bra?
are you ready to party.
are you ready to party.
its not a question its a statement. haha.
